Where I am at NOW
Yes, I did a selfie photo session for this piece.
It has been six and a half YEARS since I first started mashing out on my laptop keypad the questions, observations, and opinions I had about faith and religion, social justice, pop-culture, and other life experiences.
As I mark this re-launch of posting regular content on this website, I wanted to start by sharing an update on where I presently stand on the big questions of truth, meaning, purpose, and ethics. But as you might recall from my intro to this blog (‘Read This First’; if you haven’t read or listened to that yet, I highly recommend doing so as a primer to this website), I reserve the right to change my opinions. So consider this piece time-stamped as of June 5th in the year of others’ mythical Lord, 2024!
Or to use a more visual analogy, think of it as one stop on a very long road trip. Should I be so fortunate to live many more years, I will revisit this abandoned rest-stop of vintage contemplations and perhaps be a little embarrassed but also encouraged at how I have evolved throughout this journey called ‘life’.
my creed is the…
Not long after I left the church, I met with a fellow alumni of the evangelical Bible college we had attended in the 1990s (Multnomah Bible College in Portland, OR). As we sipped our coffees at a local Starbucks in Sacramento, CA, I recall the gratitude I had for my audience of one as she patiently listened to me share my story. Eventually, with a look of intense curiosity, she asked me directly: “Well, what then do you believe?”
Dare I call it a moment of inspiration—now no longer requiring the Divine—I spontaneously replied: “I think my creed is the question mark!”
“Dare I call it a moment of inspiration—now no longer requiring the Divine—I sponateously replied: “I think my creed is the question mark!”
As this personal axiom tumbled out of my mind and formed as it escaped my lips, it felt liberating. So, as you take the next few minutes to listen to my current beliefs, philosophy, worldview…whatever you want to call it!…I want you to understand that if there is something that has not changed in the six-and-a-half years since I started writing, it is this: I am thrilled and comforted by the unknown. I am no longer beholden to the idol of absolute, definitive revelation. For as long as I stay curious, the adventure never ends.
A few things i am pretty certain of…
Years ago I saw a very clever and self-aware bumper sticker that read, “Don’t believe everything you think.” It is a helpful and humbling reminder of how little we ultimately know. However, while I recognize and honor this and couple it with my previously expressed commitment to relentless curiosity, that does not mean that I am not confident, or fairly confident, of a few things. And while I grieve the inherent limits of labels, I recognize their helpfulness in achieving if not agreement then at least some kind of shared understanding with my fellow humans. But I am a complex person and will likely frustrate a few people by identifying with multiple schools of thought that some might argue are antithetical.
I also want to preface my present-day credo with the confession that the complex emotions of my sub-personalities can often play a role in which of these perspectives is dominant at any given time. So, if you ask me which personal beliefs I’m particularly passionate about, the context of what day of the week will be a factor.
Or as the office temp (Jennifer Emerson) said to Peter Gibbons (Ron Livingston) in the 1999 classic, Office Space, “Uh oh! Looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays!”
Office Space, 1999 (Judgmental Films and 20th Century Fox)
With that said, here are four summations of my current personal philosophy—you may call them the Kirt Lewis Quadrilateral. Hey, that sounds impressive, like I actually know what I am talking about!
I’m one Part naturalistic atheist and humanist
I believe in nature as the ground of reality and reject the existence of one or more divine beings or gods who are a) separate and above nature in value and authority and b) exclusivistic or dogmatic—that is, the 'only TRUE God’ or best god. Religions are at best the sincere psychological creations of our human species as it has struggled to survive and find meaning, and at worst they are the twisted ideologies of individuals who seek to manipulate the masses to achieve social, economic, and political power.
In contrast, science and the scientific process best aid us in grasping reality, which in turn informs how we find meaning and how to live with the rest of nature to which we are symbiotically woven together. I confidently reject the common assertion among religious apologists that ethics apart from theism is impossible. Rather, I believe in an ethical system that honors a balance with natural rhythms and resources and that respects every sentient being’s agency in finding safety and pleasure.
I’m also Part existentialist and agnostic
Some days, I conversely recognize the vast gaps in current scientific understanding. After all, it's a big fucking universe! Undoubtedly, aspects of the natural universe are yet to be discovered that might totally upend our views on reality. But it is also highly likely that there are limits to the discipline of science as currently understood. We will likely never fully grasp the ultimate nature of things. So it is up to each individual to decide their truth, meaning, and purpose.
As it relates to spiritual conversations, this leaves me frustratingly ambivalent to my inner atheist parts and my fellow atheists in the world. I recognize that the term ‘God’ can be a bit of a catchall word and it is hard to definitively say that something so vague may or may not exist when you hold that it would be impossible to make such a determination in the first place.
part of me is also a nihilist and hedonist
At other times, I believe we know nothing and are totally insignificant in the grand scope of time and space. It's healthy to just sit back and laugh at it all. The hubris of humanity is, indeed, a laughing matter! Or as William Shakespeare said, “Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”
So this leads me to be an ethical hedonist. Our highest aim (if one existed) is to extract as much pleasure out of this one ultimately meaningless existence. Because, you know, why not!? So ironically, as it says in the Bible multiple times (Isaiah 22:13, Luke 12:19, 1st Corinthians 15:32, et al), I say, "Eat, drink, and be merry. For tomorrow we die."
If there is any battle to be fought, it is to protect each living thing’s right to find pleasure in the face of meaninglessness. Or as the musical poets of the 1980’s, The Beastie Boys, once sand, “You got to fight for the right to party!”
lastly, i’m also a poetic spiritualist
In many ways, this is the opposite side of my naturalistic atheist coin. The analogy I like to use is to think of scientific naturalism as musical theory, whereas a beneficial spirituality is the music written and played. I'm curious about and drawn to integrating into my life aspects of indigenous, ancient, and animistic spiritual perspectives and practices that are grounded in nature and are highly individualized, inclusive, non-patriarchal, etc. That doesn’t mean that I am entertaining superstitious assertions that science has shown to be, in some cases, quite ridiculous if taken literally. But I think that strict naturalists and atheists look at some of these ancient spiritual traditions and are missing some critical points and common areas of solidarity.
For example, many of these perspectives and practices inspire a way of living that is far more in tune and therefore more beneficial to the natural world than traditional, organized religions and the political and ecenomic idealogies they inspire or support. In doing so, they align with scientific thought and in many cases are actually proving to have understood aspects of the natural world long before they were explained in scientific language.
Additionally, humanity genuinely needs art, symbolism, and poetry to live life fully. Framing everything in scientific categories is insufficient to capture the human experience. Plus as I said above, these earliest forms of human spiritual thought and disciplines tend to be highly individualistic and therefore not given to the temptation to institutionalize as religion does into vast empires of property, clergy, and wealth.
Unlike the well intended but naive bumper sticker that includes monotheistic religions that by definition could never “play well together”, ancient and indigenous animistic communities have the receipts when it comes to actually coexisting!
not final thoughts
So that’s it…for now. These opinions are subject to change.
Before I close, one more thing…
I’m acutely aware that you, as you read or listen to this, are still piecing things together for yourself. We no doubt share the common daily experience of conflicted musings. We vacillate between moments when we feel torn and confused with times when we mend our views for moments of peace and clarity. Like me, you may regularly get exhausted trying to figure things out!
But in that shared struggle, there is at least one implied reality we can all hang our hats on, and that is this:
WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER.